Yard Sale ...

Well, you’re sellin’ all your junk

and you’re haulin’ out the trunks

and you’re pilin’ up the yard like a fool

and you’re pricing everything from the bathtub to the ring and you’ve

even thought of diggin’ up the pool

you’ve got furniture out there and a box of underware

and some boots you can’t fit into anymore

you’ve got dishes and some pots

and those two old army cots

and an overcoat with one bad sleeve thats tore

you have got the yard sale fever

that goes ‘round this time of year,

you’ll be lucky if you do not have a stroke

when you’re packin’ out the freezer

just recall you are a geezer

and that numbing in your left arm is no joke

but, again it is the season

and you sure don’t need a reason

‘cause the attic is as full as it can be

when you’re draggin’ out the big screen

and you think you’ve hurt your spleen,

this is better than reality TV

now you’ve got it all out front

and your familys been the brunt

of all the jokes the neighbors can devise

and its good you locked the guns

because all those little puns

have pushed you til you want to stop and cry

but your ad is in the paper and the sign is on the post

and it won’t be long ‘til folks are slamming doors

and the cars are really stopping

and the folks are really shopping

and all that stuff thats leaving once was yours

so it may not be so bad ‘bout that aching back you’ve had

and now the money box is really getting full

you could use a good vacation

in some charming little nation

where you’ll just kick back and sling a little bull

When you start to like the feelin’

of all this wheelin’ dealin’ just remember

you paid cash for all that stuff

then you stored it half your life

under orders from your wife

and for any breakage had to take the guff

so you’ve counted all the money

and you gave it to your honey

and now you’re puttin’ Ben Gay on your feet

then you look out through the window

and see a pile just like yours and yell

“Honey, theres a sale down the street”

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